Ma Mu Oni!
by Umi no Oni
Summary: Kaiba invites Yugi and his friends to play an online game, but they get trapped! Is it Kaiba's doing? But strange things can happen in games, but worse in the real world! Rated for later chapters. Includes shounen-ai, violence, and suggestive themes. R
1. Invitation

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything else in here. Includes suggestive themes, animated violence, possibly shounen-ai, and where needed, gore. And a slight possibility of extreme hilarity. 

> In Domino City, late at night, in the torrential downpour, a tall person in some sort of raincoat enters a small Game Shop. The bell connected to the door rings, and Soloman, the person currently working the checkout, looks up. "Can I help you?" he asks. The wet person grabs their collar, and rips it away, revealing a dry, white gravity defying trenchcoat. It's Seto Kaiba! "Oh! You again! You already took my Blue-Eyes!"   
  
"Shut it, old man. If you weren't blind, you'd see I'm not here to take your Blue-Eyes. I'm here to see Yugi!" Kaiba exclaimed.   
  
"How disrespectful of you! Right away... You can come inside if you'd like." Soloman replied.   
  
"It seems this dump out here is far more civilized than what may lay beyond. But there is a draft and I'd wait outside if I wanted to be cold." Kaiba rudely said, under his breath. He didn't want to have to pay for the old man's hospital bill, after all. Soloman began up the stairs when Kaiba entered the living room. Kaiba sat down on the couch. He found his knees nearly reached his ribs. After a few minutes, Yugi came downstairs, followed by his grandpa. Kaiba noticed he seemed a bit taller.  
  
"Alright, Kaiba, _let's duel_!" Yami said.  
  
"You fool of a pharaoh! I didn't come to duel, I came to talk to Yugi!" Kaiba retorted.  
  
"Oh." Yugi shrunk, and nearly kissed the floor. "Hey, Kaiba. What brings you here?" Yugi asked.  
  
"I wanted to... to... erm... (This is embarrassing...) invite you... and... your... uh... friends... to play... a game... with me." Kaiba muttered, going red.  
  
"You are inviting me and my friends to play a game with you!?" Yugi replied, shocked. "Since when do you invite my friends and myselves to play with you?"  
  
"Did you just say 'myselves'...? Er, yes, I'm inviting you and your friends to play a game with me."  
  
"What kind of game?" Yugi excitingly asked. "Is it a board game?"  
  
"Uh, no. Board games are for los-er... children like Mokuba."  
  
"Oh-"  
  
"It's an online game. An RPG to be exact. I h-"  
  
"Online? RPG? Huh!?" Yugi restated, obviously confused.  
  
"Online, meaning anybody who has access can play it. RPG meaning Role-Playing Game, so you can assume the role of anybody you want, as long as you can fulfill that role. As I was saying, I have the software for this game, as well as an emulator required to play it." An infuriating Kaiba explained.  
  
"What kind of emulator?"  
  
"Virtual. So you will literally be in the game. It'll simulate everything. So, how about it? Will you play?" Seto asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'll play... I'll have to ask my friends though... and... can Yami play too?" Yugi asked, blushing...  
  
"No, Yami can't play. You can tell me what your friends said tommo-"  
  
"I can ask them now!" Yugi exclaimed, "They're all upstairs, playing Twister!"  
  
"How kinky. Ask them if they have anything pure in them for me."  
  
"Will do!" Yugi ran upstairs...  

> 
> Meanwhile, upstairs...
> 
>   
"Oh, Jounouchi, that feels so good!" Anzu groaned.  
  
"Well, I'm finding it to be quite painful!" Jou moaned.  
  
"And it's killing my back, too!" Honda added.  
  
"That's me, Honda." Ryou stated.  
  
Otogi, "Of course it's killing if you're involved, Ryou."  
  
Just then, Yugi burst through the door, eyes closed, smiling. "Hey guys! Kaiba wants to know if you have anything pure in you!" They all looked at each other, and blushed. "Uh... yeah." Jou stated. He arched over Anzu perpendicular, belly up, back protruding into Anzu's. Honda was arched just underneath Anzu, with his back acting as a platform for her flab. Ryou was sticking out, knee in Honda's gut. Otogi was sitting on Yugi's bed, twirling his locks. His mascara was running, and he was laughing. The pile collapsed, and Jounouchi was already standing.  
  
"Ow! Honda, get off of me!"  
  
"Anzu, move your flab!" Honda pushed Anzu, hand slipping into her-  
  
"Honda, you are SUCH a player!" Otogi exclaimed, obviously getting excited.  
  
"Anzu, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to, it was just an accident and-" Honda started...  
  
"Was it a friendly accident?" Anzu asked angrily.  
  
"Uh... yes?" he replied.  
  
"Then all is forgiven!" she smilied and held her hand out, trying to help him up.  
  
"Anyways," Yugi started, "Kaiba's downstairs and has to ask guys you something..." He looked around. "Last one down is a rotten mummy!" He bolted out, followed by Jounouchi. Otogi sprang up, and pushed Honda, who wasn't even in the way, out of his way, and into Anzu. Their lips locked. They're the only ones left in the room. Anzu pushed Honda away. "Honda!" She slapped him. She looked around the empty room, and embraced and re-locked her lips with Honda. He held her in his arms, motioning to the bed. Anzu pulled her face away.  
  
"Not in Yugi's bed, moron! What he finds out what happened last time!? Besides, we have to get downstairs!" Anzu said. They both went downstairs, hand-in-hand, until they reached the single person stairs.  
  
"After you, m'lady." Honda said, arm guiding downstairs.  
  
"Oh no, I couldn't!"  
  
"Ladies first. Besides, you don't want to be a rotten mummy, now do you," he looked into her eyes and said, lustly, "_mummy._"  
  
"Oh, you big jerk." She said, and gave him a peck on the cheek, and went downstairs. Honda waited a few seconds, and followed.  
  
"What took you losers so long? What are you, _in love_?" Kaiba asked. Anzu and Honda blushed. "Did you go off and soil little innocent Yugi's bed, while thinking only of yourselves and each other?"  
  
Anzu looked shocked. She spoke up. "How did you know about that?"  
  
"Webcam."  
  
Yugi, "I don't have a webcam..."  
  
"Then how?" Anzu continued.  
  
"You just told him, you dits!" Honda yelled.  
  
"Now, now, children, don't let your secret lust break you up." said Yugi's grandpa.  
  
"How did YOU know!?" Honda asked.  
  
"It's kinda of hard not to hear when your grandson is boring you with his schoolday and there's sinful sounds coming from the next room over." he explained.  
  
"Yugi, you, you knew?" Anzu asked.  
  
"Ehm." He said, nodding. "Grandpa went out and bought me a new bed that same afternoon."  
  
Kaiba spoke up. "Forget your lust right now! I have a question for you!"  
  
Ryou, "Yes, you never got to your question..."  
  
Kaiba, "I invite all of you," he looked at Soloman, "except you, to play an online RPG with me at my house."  
  
"Sure." They all said in unison.  
  
"Come to my house tommorow, at 4:30 in the afternoon. If you're not there, you'll be left out." He began to leave.  
  
"Wait, Kaiba," Jou started, "_What game?_"  
  
Kaiba looked at him, and snickered. Jounouchi was shocked by this casualness... Kaiba left, the downpour gone, into the night.

Read and review! 


	2. The Next Day

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, it's characters, or anything else mentioned. 

> Yugi raised his head from the couch, sat up, and stretched. He rubbed his eyes and moved to the back window, to open it. "I wonder what time it is?" he aksed himself, opening the curtains, and went to the kitchen. He opened the fridge, grabbed the milk, and tried to get a glass from the cupboard. "If only I wasn't so short..." he complained to himself. At that moment, he grew taller, and dropped the milk, spilling into the street. He loaded his deck into his duel disk and drew six cards, and immediately summoned his Egyptian God, Osiris. "Now Osiris, attack and bring me victory!" The red dragon opened it's mouth and proceeded into where the camera seems to be located, and it went black. A purple lump protruding from some sheets was moving about, and Anzu and Honda could be heard. The covers flew off, and there was Mokuba, playing Risk with Yugi, in Kaiba's office. Mokuba looked up and smilied at the camera, when a Blue-Eyes White Dragon bust through the wall and consumed Yugi, then flew off.  
  
Kaiba raised his head from his pillow. His forehead his drenched with sweat. "Hmmph. That was quite a dream. First Yugi's short, then we're dueling, and... What time is it?" he questioned. He got out of bed, and put some clothes on, including his blue trenchcoat. He left his bedroom and entered his office, noticing Mokuba and Yugi are playing Risk, Duel Monsters Edition. "Ha! Now I move my Oni-Tanks T-34 into Sogen!" Yugi yelled. "Heha! I reveal my face down Magic Card, Raigeki!" Mokuba retorted.  
  
"First off, Raigeki _cannot_ be activated during your opponents turn, second, YOU'RE PLAYING RISK!" Kaiba explained. "Now, who wants to tell me what time it is?"  
  
"It's three thirty-three in the afternoon, big brother."  
  
"Then where are you're friends, Yugi?"  
  
"Mokuba made them wait outside..." he frowned.  
  
"In the rain!? Urgh... remember Yugi, it takes _fourty-two muscles to frown_, but it only takes _four to smack someone upside the head._" Kaiba stated, matter-of-factly.  
  
"But violence is for people who have _mental_ problems!" Yugi yelled.  
  
"You're so innocent, Yugi!" Mokuba said, smacking him upside the head.  
  
Yugi transformed into Yami. "Now, Mokuba, it's wrong to hit people upside the head. **PENALTY GAME!**" he declared.  
  
"Ugh, not now! Go bring your friends inside, I'll have one of my butlers make some breakfast." Kaiba announced. Yugi spoke up, "Lunch, Kaiba, _lunch._" and walked off.  
  

> 
> Moments later, well... long enough for the butlers to have made lunch...
> 
> Jounouchi, Anzu, Honda, Otogi, and Ryou walked in, soaking wet. Jounouchi shook himself to get dry.  
  
"You dog, Katsuya. Shaking yourselve like your nothing but a low-life mutt." Kaiba stated, angry that Jounouchi just ruined his Beckett Yu-Gi-Oh! Collector's Guide collection.  
  
"Argh, why you! As soon as we get to those emulators, I'm gonna cause so much damage, just to-" Jou started...  
  
"Be footed with the bill?" Kaiba finished, "I really don't think a pure-breed mutt like you could afford it. Or the pound you came from." Jounouchi stepped towards Kaiba, fist shaking. Honda was holding him back. "Oh, so now your dirty dog friend is holding you back, like you're on a leash, a very tight one, at that. And I bet you'd like to be in the mutts place, wouldn't you, tubby?" He looked at Anzu. She blushed, and stepped toward Kaiba, with an open hand shaking. Otogi is holding her back. Kaiba continued, "And why do you have an obsession with dice!? Do you think you're lucky?"  
  
Otogi retorted, "Why do you have an obsession with the Blue-Eyes White Dragon? Do you think you're straight?" Kaiba started towards Otogi, fist shaking. Mokuba and Yugi are holding him back. Ryou spoke up, "Alright, alright! Bishes in one corner, dudes to another corner, and everyone else to another corner." Ryou, Otogi, and Kaiba went into one corner, Honda and Jounouchi into another, and Yugi, Anzu, and Mokuba went into the other.  
  
"Now, settle your differences!" Ryou said. Everybody looked at him, and laughed. A tone came from Kaiba's computer, notifying him he got an Instant Message. He went over to it, and sat down. He looked up. "It's some guy named Namu... He's asking to talk to Jounouchi."  
  
"That's _just_ Marik. He probably wants to use the power of his rod to convince me to do something." Jounouchi said, everybody looking at him, wide-eyed. "His _millenium_ rod! I don't play for _that_ team."  
  
"Oh sure, Jounouchi... That's how you know how old his rod is!" Otogi said, getting excited.  
  
"Then what about my millenium puzzle?"  
  
"It's a joke, Yugi."  
  
"Yeah, then, well, it's not funny!" Yugi said.  
  
Kaiba looked at Otogi. "_You'd_ like one that old wouldn't you? So it would be easy for you to get 'lucky'."  
  
Otogi, "I don't go for older _men,_" he stepped forwards, next to Ryou, "because I've got my Ryou!" He put his arm around Ryou's waist.  
  
"Otogi! I never agreed to be your boyfriend!"  
  
"Will you...?" Otogi said, twirling a lock of Ryou's hair.  
  
"Hmm... Oh alright. As long as you don't pull any funny stuff." agreed Ryou.  
  
Kaiba, "Not _another_ nightmare... Back to the point; Why you're all here. Let's go down to the basement. We can take a trolley to my buildings basement, where we can then proceed to the emulators."  
  
So then they all headed out the door, Kaiba first, then Yugi, Jounouchi, Anzu-Honda, Otogi-Ryou, and lastly Mokuba, who sent his reply to Marik, inviting him to Kaiba Corp, shutting the door.

Please read and review! And thanks goes out to nasako, Zelia Theb, and any others (after update) for the reviews!  
Chapter three should be done by... July 3rd, but not promises. 


	3. Trains, Tunnels, and Marik

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, it's characters, or anything used.  
Also, there is a **very** good chance of this being the _last_ update of Ma-Mu-Oni!

> A train is traveling in darkness. Inside, Yugi, Seto, Anzu, Honda, Jounouchi, Ryou, Otogi, and Mokuba are all en route to KaibaCorp's basement boarding platform. The train comes out of the tunnel, so, _who's inside?_  
  
"Ah, those fools should be pleasantly surprised to see me again..."  
  
"And aren't you going to attempt to... _subdue_ Jounouchi?"  
  
"Yes, as soon as we meet, I'll... hmm."  
  
"Haven't developed your plan past that, master?"  
  
In the train, someone stands up. It's Marik!  
  
"No, Odion... I haven't... Chances are we probably won't meet until we start playing the game. So-"  
  
"Oh, Marik, stop thinking so much. It seems like you haven't slept at all!" Ishizu said.  
  
"I can't sleep if this train keeps shaking! I keep thinking we'll enter a curve and go off track!" complained Marik. Everybody else in the car looked at Marik, shocked as if he just signed their death warrants. "Stop looking at me or I'll have someone kill you!" Marik yelled. Odion put his hand on Marik's shoulder and pulled him back into his seat.  
  
"You don't have quite the influence you once had, master. I suggest that you-" began Odion.  
  
"You suggest that you shut up! That's a splendid suggestion! While you're doing that, go get some of my Rare Hunters hack into Kaiba's mainframe and find out what kind of character Jounouchi has." Marik said, bursting with rage.  
  
"Marik, you seem on edge. I'm beginning to think your separation from someone not related to you is making you crazy." Ishizu said. Marik backhanded her across the face. Odion stood up. "You never hit a lady, not matter who they are." Marik stook his tongue out at him. Odion punched the side of Marik's face. Marik kicked Odion in the groin. He began to fall, but grabbed Marik by the collar and threw him halfway throughthe window.  
  
"That hurt!" Marik said, almost inaudible over the wisps of wind. Odion pulled him back in. Marik's face is bleeding.  
  
"You asshole, you ruined my face! My perfect bishe face!"  
  
"Trust me, master. You look better than ever."  
  
Marik began a fist-fight with Odion. Odion easily dominated the fight. But Ishizu, though angry at her brother, didn't wanted to see him hurt. She got on her knees and _grabbed Odion's pants._  
  

> 
> MEANWHILE... back on the right train...
> 
> Yugi, Mokuba, Anzu, Honda, and Jounouchi are running up and down the aisle, trying to play tag. Yugi is in front, followed by Jounouchi, followed by Mokuba, then Anzu, and lastly, Honda. Seto can't help but look out the window. Yugi stopped three-quarters down the aisle, but Jounouchi couldn't see him, and trampled him underfoot. Mokuba stopped to help Yugi up, and then Anzu stopped. Honda ran right into her, and they looked at each other and laughed.  
  
"That's probably the _only_ reason why they're playing." Ryou said.  
  
"Why...?" Otogi asked, twirling a lock of Ryou's hair, sitting in his lap.  
  
"So they can hump each other in public while making it look like an accident... Look! Anzu stopped again, but for no reason! See what I mean?"  
  
"I think I see what you mean. But I think you know what I'd like to see..." Otogi said, drawing his finger down Ryou's chest.  
  
"I said no funny stuff!" Ryou said, blushing, pushing Otogi off his lap.  
  
"Oh, all right... But why do you think Jou's playing?" Otogi asked.  
  
"Because that's the only entertainment on this train for a dog like him." Seto said coldly.  
  
Jounouchi stopped mid-aisle. Anzu stopped as well, but, _who cares?_ He looked at Seto and popped him the finger. Seto looked at him and snickered. "I think I- No, _I know_ where you'd like to stick that."  
  
"Grr.... Kai-" Jounouchi began.  
  
"Growling again, mutt? I think we have enough time-" Seto began...  
  
"Lemme guess, no, let me say it for you. 'To make a stop at the pound, where you belong, mutt.'" Jounouchi finished, agitated.  
  
"Exactly! I praise you for breaking the standards of your pathetic life of stupidity." Seto said, standing up.  
  
"I oughta take your lights out!" Jounouchi yelled, fist shaking.  
  
"I'll do it for you." Seto clapped his hands twice. The lights went out. "Unless you're dog eyes can't adjust." He clapped again, turning the lights back on. Jounouchi can't be found. "Oh, planning a surprise attack? You wouldn't attack me. You're too stupid." Kaiba said, matter-of-factly. Jounouchi came from the end of the aisle, with a sandwich in hand.  
  
"Ou sa somtin?" Jounouchi tried saying, mouth full of food.  
  
"Always eating mutt? Figures. Guess they don't feed you enough at the pound." Seto said, snickering.  
  
Jou swallowed. "I'll punch your face in, if it'll make you shut up."  
  
"You wouldn't- _you're eating._" Seto said, still snickering.  
  
Jounouchi looked at his sandwich, looked at Kaiba, and looked back at the sandwich. He took a bite and tossed it away. He raised a fist and ran down the aisle to Seto.  
  
"(That was _MY_ lunch!) You're bluffing. You wouldn't hit a hot bishe like me!" Seto exclaimed. Jounouchi stopped in front of his compartment, jaw dropped.  
  
"What... did... Did... you just...?" Jounouchi stuttered. Honda bumped into a stopped Anzu again, but his arms flailed out. Poor Jounouchi... wrong place, right time... or maybe not.  
  

> 
> Meanwhile, back on the other train... Odion is sitting in his seat, laid back. Ishizu is laying in his lap. Marik is pacing up and down the aisle. Other than that, their car is empty. Back to the KaibaLand train...
> 
> Jounouchi fell into Seto. Unlike _some_ people, this _is_ an accident. Yes, their lips locked. Jounouchi blushed and went wide-eyed, but slowly closed his eyes and embraced Seto. Seto on the other hand, went wide-eyed. He pushed Jounouchi away and punched the side of his face. That roughly translates into a slap from Yugi to Jou. But Jounouchi pushed Seto against the wall, but Seto sprung from it and punched Honda. Again, Yugi slap. Seto started a fight!  
  
"Honda, restrain him!" Jounouchi yelled to his street-punk friend. Honda needed no order though. They've done this before. Several times before. Jounouchi began pummeling away at Seto's stomach. Honda let go after some time, and Seto collapsed. Honda went off and chased Anzu.  
  
Apparently, Yugi and Mokuba were in their seats, _looking at each other._ Otogi and Ryou were fast asleep, in their seats, but Otogi's hand was placed on Ryou's groin, twitching. Jounouchi closed the door to Kaiba's compartment, pulled him up, and locked lips with Seto once more. Seto tried to escape from Jounouchi, but was too hurt to move. Jounouchi pulled away.  
  
"You've proven... to be more than just a mutt-puppy..." Seto muttered.  
  
"Yeah. I'm not just some beagle to you... I'm more of a dauberman aren't I?" Jounouchi asked, ready for more. More _than more_, perhaps.  
  
"Guess so..." Seto hacked up some flem-blood mixture, and tried to wipe his mouth, but couldn't muster the strength. Jounouchi did it for him. "I could've-"  
  
"But _couldn't,_" stated Jounouchi, "but I want you more than ever... _Now._"  
  
"For some reason, I _can't_ seem to think otherwise." Seto reluctantly said. Jounouchi went wide-eyed. He picked up Seto and they started to please each other. The train slowed down...

Whoa! Even I didn't see that one coming!  
Read and review! 


	4. Trains Are Private Public Places

Disclaimer: Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or anything else used, etc, etc...  
  
I was re-reading previous chapters, and I've discovered something... They are completely insane!  
  
Nope, just re-read two... now one... and for some reason I read them in reverse order. They seem to have gotten more bizarre with each chapter. So guess what? I'm not going to break that new standing tradition. Let the insanity be reborn!  
  
Perhaps I need a new phrase... And on further review (for reasons in which this was not updated for), I have decided myself to be a hazard to anyone within the physical vicinity. Mentally, that is.  
  
Yeah, this chapter (as well as the previous ones) may or does contain massive amounts of inappropriate stuff. Such as vulgarity. And innuendo.

* * *

The lights went out. The train was coming to a screeching halt. Everybody within, who could, mind you, stood up. Seto pushed Jounouchi off of him.  
  
"What was that? What did you do, muttling!?" Seto said, apparently being enraged. Or from Jounouchi's point of view, manly.  
  
"What?" Jou asked, not understanding the meaning.  
  
"I can't see!"  
  
"Maybe there's not enough blood in your head." Jou said matter-of-factly. "But I think I do know where it may all be!"  
  
"You pervert!" Seto pushed Jounouchi away. At least that's what it sounded like.  
  
The emergency lights went on. Everybody was looking into their compartment, in complete and utter awe. They began gossiping amongst themselves.  
  
"I never knew Jounouchi felt that way about guys!"  
  
"Apparently, he's feeling much more than that way..."  
  
"Jounouchi is SUCH a player! I wanna try!"  
  
"No you won't."  
  
"I am in complete and utter awe."  
  
"I'll show you complete and utter awe!"  
  
"Milking the cow today!"  
  
"Call me that again and you'll be left with cold beef."  
  
"Big brother!"  
  
Jounouchi could barely understand who was saying what. Seems like it was Yugi, Ryou, Otogi, Ryou again, Honda, Anzu, Honda, Anzu, and lastly Mokuba. What's that? People are entering from the end of the aisle!  
  
"Could you believe how many people were looking at me? It was like I banished them all to death!"  
  
"That was because they were and you did."  
  
"What could be the sands swooning ways, now?"  
  
A tanned, golden-haired boy was looking up to a tall bald man with a cheek tattoo, while a dark-haired woman looked at the crowd ahead. It's Marik, Odion, and Ishizu! As if that wasn't obvious. Apparently, the crowd at the other end seems completely oblivious to these three. They joined them anyways.  
  
"What in the gods names are you looking at?" asked Odion.  
  
"What the? Odion?" Seto said, or rather, asked.  
  
"When there's Odion, theres Marik! Gimme that back Kaiba! It's not a chew toy!" Jounouchi said, standing up, but still hunched over. He was struggling with Kaiba for something.  
  
"You're one to talk, Wheel-er, Katsuya!"  
  
"Just give it back! It... belongs... in... MY... pants!" Jou said, still struggling. Kaiba apparently released, and Jou fell backwards, and his coat flew up. He quickly got out and shoved his coat tails into his pants, catching sight of-  
  
"Mare-key!" Jounouchi screamed out, running down the aisle.  
  
"Jounookie!" Marik called out, running at him. He jumped into Jou's outstretched arms. "I have so much to tell you!"  
  
"And I you!"  
  
"That made no sense! Let's get a booth!"  
  
"Compartment!" Jou said, grabbed a compartment door with a free hand, and toppled into it with 'Mare-key'.  
  
"Son of a-" cried Honda. Maybe it was a yell?  
  
"Jounouchi!" cried Anzu. That was really a cry.  
  
"Hey, Anzu." said Marik, slithering his tongue in an out in that punk-rocker style.  
  
"Ew..." said Anzu, pushing Jounouchi's falling arm away from her breast.  
  
"Let's go, Jounookie." said Marik, pulling him up.  
  
"Fine. I don't want to be in the same room as a common horse anyways!" Jounouchi said, slamming the door on them, and Anzu's foot.  
  
"Ow, you bastard!" she said, but Jou and Marik were already in the compartment opposite, making out. For some reason, they didn't close the door.  
  
"I've told you a million times before, Jounouchi," yelled Honda, "It's not horse, it's whore! And she's not-"  
  
Jounouchi pulled his face away from Marik's. "Same difference, unless it really doesn't matter that everyone's had a ride on her at least once!" Jounouchi yelled back, shutting the door, locking it.  
  
"Nice comeback back there." Marik told him, eyes going up and down Jou's body, pausing for a fraction of a second at one particular part.  
  
"It happened only five seconds ago." replied Jou, closing the shades of the compartment.  
  
"Who cares. Let's get back to our... catching up?" Marik asked Jounouchi.  
  
"Right away..." he replied, pulling Marik onto the floor and raising the seats. He then pulled a handle that gave them at least another foot or two to work with, as well as inflate the floor.  
  
"Very ingenious, compacting the seats and inflating the floor. Kaiba must really have had plans for this train..." Marik said soothingly. Jounouchi sat up, pulled Marik up by the collar, and ripped open his shirt. He then pushed Marik down and removed their clothing, standing up only to place the removed clothes in the suspending mesh above. Marik pulled Jounouchi down, and literally shoved his tongue down Jounouchi's throat. The train began to slow down once more...

* * *

A line break!? Come on! I don't have time to waste reading this filler! Oh wait, I'm the author...

* * *

A knock occurred on the door. The two of them looked up and at each other in surprise. A what-do-we-do-we'll-be-caught-naked type of expression filled their face. They both got up and put their clothes on as soon as possible, trying not to leave their position.  
  
"Hurry up, you two. My train is not intended to be used as a sex house." Kaiba said through the door.  
  
"Why don't we just go in there and pull them out?" Mokuba said.  
  
"Good idea, Mokuba. Hand me the card for this car." Kaiba replied. The two of them went faster to get dressed, when...  
  
"Mokuba, look away!" Kaiba yelled, trying to cover Mokuba's eyes. The door had opened. Honda and Anzu were going at it again before Kaiba had knocked on the door. Apparently, Honda was wearing some of Anzu's clothes. It's more of her 'unmentionables'.  
  
"Damn, Honda. You did things to her that I didn't do to Marik, didn't you?" Jounouchi said as Honda and Anzu came out of the compartment. Kaiba threw his arm out, stopping them at the doorframe.  
  
"Run along now, Mokuba. You too, Yugi. I have to have a talk with these two." Kaiba coldly uttered. If the heater hadn't kicked on, frost might have developed on the windows.  
  
"Okay." replied the two halflings.  
  
"As for you," he said in that same deathly cold tone, directed towards Marik and Jounouchi, "you can stay if you want. But I'd prefer if you looked after Mokuba."  
  
"I'll go do it. It can't be any different than watching over Master." Odion said, heading towards the end of the car.  
  
"I'll go with him." Ishizu said, following him out. Anzu and Honda left the car after Seto made one swift motion to close the shades on all of the exterior windows. It must be really nice to have a button that fits your exact needs within reach at any given time.  
  
"Pull yourselves together, you hormone sick teenagers!" Marik said.  
  
"Or pull yourself out of her." Seto added, directed towards Honda.  
  
"Oh come on, Jounouchi! You can't tell me you didn't do this exact thing with Marik!" Honda said.  
  
"No we didn't." Jou and Marik said in unison. "Jinx! You owe me a blow-"  
  
"Enough. There's been enough innuendo in one compartment. Don't make it spread." Seto uttered.  
  
"-gun..." The two finished. Anzu tried to push herself off of Honda, but he pulled her back. She tried and tried again, and kept trying for the next minute or so.  
  
"Honda," she began, "I think we need to talk about something. In private." She forced him back into the compartment and closed the door. Seto just opened it again, shocked to find that she turned around. "Kaiba!"

* * *

Uhh... Sorry for the massive amounts of vulgarity, lack of update, and other un-ratedly things.  
  
Review! 


	5. From Trains to Blimps to KPods

Alright, I've decided that YGO doesn't belong to me. Or anything else that may be used, particularly The Elder Scrolls 3, which the characters for the game are entirely based off of. Actually, I've decided that I'm done with filler and that I'm going to get to the actual content. Enjoy and review!

* * *

The train had stopped minutes before. Yugi, Mokuba, Anzu, Honda, Kaiba, Jounouchi, Marik, Odion, Ishizu, Otogi, and Ryou, in short, everyone, got off the train. Kaiba lead them into his underground complex. They followed him through corridor after corrider, until they reachd the elevator. Kaiba turned around. Honda and Anzu, Ryou and Otogi, and Jounouchi and Marik were holding hands. Kaiba's face went red with anger.  
  
"What did I finish telling you! My corporation isn't your affection area!" Kaiba said.  
  
"Hmm... We can we play that game, shortstuff?" Yugi asked.  
  
"I'm twice your height! Anyways, we'll be getting into the circular elevator. You won't ask why every elevator I have is circular, and you won't look at the crowd." Kaiba explained.  
  
"Ooo... a crowd?" Otogi asked. Ryou elbowed him in the ribs.  
  
"Just get in..." Kaiba said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Everybody walked into the elevator. Somehow, they all fit. Kaiba entered last, and hit a button labeled three. The elevator rose up, and emerged into the open air. Only the elevator is an enclosed space. And there was a crowd of girls going crazy just to see Kaiba. Most of the fainted. The elevator stopped, and they all proceeded through more corridors. They cam to another elevator, concealed by carefully placed vending machines. They all got in and Kaiba hit a button labeled O. The elevator rose again, and didn't stop for quite awhile.  
  
"Dumdeedoodledum..." Jounouchi sang.  
  
"Bumpleedoodledee..." Marik sang.  
  
"Lumpyhumpleskins..." Honda sang. Anzu looked at him with an evil smile.  
  
"Stop singing, and if either of you too get any closer, I will have you ejected from the elevator!" Kaiba said.  
  
Yugi started rocking back and forth on his feet, moving his head as if he was talking to someone. He looked at Kaiba, smiled, then got back to his rocking. He suddenly got taller, aka Yami. He looked at Kaiba again...  
  
"This'll be interesting..." Marik whispered to Jou.  
  
"What?" Jou asked, whispering.  
  
Just then, Yami turned around and pulled Kaiba down, and stuck his tongue in his mouth. Kaiba didn't know how to react and was caught off guard. Yami quickly stood Kaiba back up. Kaiba punched Yami in in the gut. Yami turned back into Yugi. Kaiba took the Millenium Puzzle from Yugi and stopped the elevator. He opened a small vent in the side with another conviently placed all-to-do type button, and dropped the Puzzle below.  
  
"THERE! No more surprise attacks from that ancient freak!" Kaiba yelled at Yugi, after starting the elevator back up again. "I hope you'll miss him, because that Puzzle will shatter into all of its pieces at the bottom of the shaft!"  
  
"Not really. He stole my innocence." Yugi said.  
  
"Huh?" Mokuba asked.  
  
"You don't need to know what he means, Mokuba." Kaiba said.  
  
"I know exactly what he means, but how?" Mokuba asked.  
  
"I don't know." Yugi said, blushing.  
  
The elevator stopped. Kaiba pushed everyone in his way, out of the way. He stopped outside and turned back towards the group.  
  
"Alright. You won't touch anything in my personal office, but instead make your way down that hall into the blimp. We will fly for a few minutes before reaching the main game complex-" Kaiba stated...  
  
"OOOH! Games!" Yugi shouted.  
  
"Yes, games... Anyways, that's where the emulators are. We'll get on the blimp and it will be a very, VERY, uneventful ride. If anything, and I mean ANYTHING, goes on in that blimp that is not sitting and staring out the windows, you will ALL be pushed out the ramp. Except you, Mokuba. Unless you do something bad." Kaiba finished. And they all proceeded down the hall, not touching anything, and got on the blimp. It took off, and it was indeed a very uneventful trip. Except for when Jounouchi farted. The blimp touched down into a somewhat large hanger. Everyone got off, and Mokuba lead the way. He opened a small door built just for him, but Yugi went inside as well. Some sort of commotion went on inside, and Mokuba pushed Yugi. Yugi turned back at the closing door.  
  
"HEY! How am I supposed to know it's made just for you!" He yells. Kaiba approaches the large door, and it opens automatically. Everyone follows him.  
  
The group has entered a large room with twelve egg shaped pods with glass for the front. Kaiba is facing them.  
  
"These are my latest and greatest virtual emulators. They work like all the others, but are more secure. You won't be trapped inside the game." Kaiba said, going up to one of them. A large holographic message appeared over it, displaying 'Empty, None, None, 0, 0 0'. "As you get close to one of the pods, it will display your game statistics. They are all empty, and once you get in one, that is yours for the rest of the game. It will display your character name, race, class, level, and location. If you are in a town, it won't display the coordinates, but instead the town name. Same applies for a dungeon. Does everyone understand?"  
  
Everyone nodded.  
  
"Mokuba, load my data into Pod One. I have teach these newbies some lessons. Load your own into whatever Pod as well, and execute the security procedures. I want to see you in-game in five minutes. Everyone else, pick a Pod and get in. The game will load up before you are put into it, and you only have to toggle the switches in the top to navigate." Kaiba said.  
  
A holographic arrow appeared over the first Pod on the far left. Kaiba went over to it and it displayed his information: Setoe, High Elf, Sorceror, 7, 13 6. He pressed the blue button on the side, opening the Pod. He got in and sat down, toggling a few switches overhead. The pod closed. Everyone else approached a Pod. They all displayed the same empty except for number two: Mokie, Wood Elf, Scout, 4, 13 7. They each got in one, Ryou #3, Otogi #4, Ishizu #5, Anzu #6, Honda and Jounouchi fought over #7, but Odion got in when they weren't looking, Marik #8, Jounouchi #9, Honda #9, and Yugi got into #12. They all fumbled around with some of the switches.

* * *

I'm a bit confused. Here's an ordering of each Pod, 1-12, and what person is in it.  
  
Seto, Mokuba, Ryou, Otogi, Ishizu, Anzu, Odion, Marik, Jounouchi, Honda, empty, Yugi  
  
Back to the ending:

* * *

Yugi's Pod opened up after he pressed the big blue button on the side. He sat down in it, and looked up. There were eight switches in four categories, and he read them, left to right: . He noticed that they were all up, except OpenPod. He toggled OpenPod to up and ClosePod to down, and waited for the Pod to close before touching anything else. When it did, he toggled the two Chat switches down.  
  
"Hello?" he said.  
  
"Hey, 12. Who are you?" a holographic message display opened showing Pod9. The voice was a little muffled and distorted, so he couldn't tell who it was.  
  
"This is Yugi. Hey Jou!" he replied.  
  
"Yugi, don't turn both of them on if you're only going to talk to one person." Pod1, Kaiba, said.  
  
"Bah, Kaiba!" Pod9, Jou, said. "Why are our voices distorted? And how do you know this is me, Yug?"  
  
"I saw you get in number nine." he replied.  
  
"These distort your voices so that you don't annoy me." Pod1 replied.  
  
"Hey, chaps, does this Chat function work?" Pod3, Ryou asked.  
  
"It sure does, mate. Hey, how are we going to talk to each other in game?" Pod10, Honda asked.  
  
"Well, thats kinda of a tough question to answer, 10. You can speak to other people normally, but only those within range of your voice can hear you. If you want to talk to someone far away, you can look at your left under-wrist and filter out speech. Seto can explain it to you better. Turn on AutoStart and run the game to get started!" Pod2, Mokuba, explained.  
  
"I'm Chatting off..." Yugi said. He reached up for both switches and flicked them with two fingers, then turned AutoStart on (down) and toggled RunGame. A holographic circle was drawn counterclockwise inside the Pod, and it formed a tunnel, using a grid shape to do so. The tunnel began to sort of drag Yugi in, and he was sucked inwards. After awhile, the tunnel slowly got bigger, and Yugi was back in the Pod. He looked around. He saw that a panel in the right arm of the chair opened, and a screen formed in front of him. He switched Chat1.6 on.  
  
"Mokuba? Kaiba? I think theres's a problem..." he said.  
  
"Do you see a screen with some controls too, 12?" asked Pod4.  
  
"Yeah. I kinda went through this tunnel thing, but I ended up here." he replied.  
  
"Yeah, same thing happened here. I can't seem to contact either Kaiba." they replied.  
  
"What's taking you four so long? Everyone else has already made a character!" Kaiba yelled.  
  
"Four? It's only me and Pod4, isn't it?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Switch on Chat7.12, 9 and 10 aren't in yet." Pod4 said.  
  
Yugi turned that switch on.  
  
"Jounouchi? How come you haven't made a character?" Yugi asked.  
  
"I could ask the same thing, Yug. You're supposed to be really good at these kinds of things. How far are you?" Jou asked.  
  
"You're in 9, Jounouchi?" Pod4 asked.  
  
"Yeah. Who are you, 4?" Jou replied.  
  
"Otogi. Who's in 10?" Otogi asked.  
  
"Honda. Me and him already have our classes decided, which is kinda ironic." Jou said.  
  
"I've got my race down. Can't figure out how to do Class..." Otogi said.  
  
"Hey Yug, how far are you, bud? And I have my race and class done. Can't decide on a name though..." Honda asked.  
  
"I don't have anything..." he replied.  
  
"Aw, it's simple! See that red thumbstick that has four directions labeled next to it?" Jou asked.  
  
"Yeah?" Yugi asked. Replied. Questioned works!  
  
"You can use that to select one of the classes by pressing left or right, and up and down lets you scroll through its description." Jou answered.  
  
"Alright... Let me find something cool..." Yugi said.  
  
"Don't go with something cool, go with something that fits you!" Honda said.  
  
"Those same controls work for selecting a race, too!" Otogi explained.  
  
"You can switch between them using the green thumbstick, but it only goes up or down." Honda added.  
  
"Thanks, Honda!" Jou and Otogi said in unison.  
  
"Hmm..." Yugi sighed. He already had an Wood Elf as a character, but he couldn't decide on a class. He read through all of them, and decided that he was most like a Monk. Now all he needs is a name... "You guys?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah?" they all replied.  
  
"What kind of characters do you have?" he asked.  
  
"I have a Nordic Knight!" Jou stated.  
  
"I'm a Redguard Rogue." Honda said.  
  
"I'm a Khajiiti Thief..." Otogi said.  
  
"As for me, I'm a Wood Elven Monk!" Yugi said.  
  
"Great, Yugi! Using this info, we can probably identify each other easier!" Otogi said.  
  
"I'm getting into the game now. Later, guys!" Honda said.  
  
"I'm with him." Jou said.  
  
"See you later, monk!" Otogi said.  
  
"Bye guys!" Yugi said. He switched off his Chat switches. "At least, I hope they play guys..." he added. He switched to name. A small virtual keyboard appeared. He entered an easy name: Monk. He hit 'Enter' and flipped down to confirm. A small window opened up, asking for a Birthsign. He selected 'The Steed'. He moved onto the next screen, a map. It wants to know which city he wants to start in. Kaiba does have to give him some basic lessons... Where was Kaiba's location?

* * *

As I mentioned before, the entire character creation process is based off of 'TES3: Morrowind's in the sense that its the same races, classes, and birthsigns. You'll see that some of the original cities and such will appear, but in a whole new original world with other original cities and stuff.

* * *

"Will the game close if I open the Pod? We'll just have to see..." Yugi asked and replied to himself. He reached up and toggled the ClosePod and OpenPod switches. The Pod opened, and the screen turned into a small square over the control panel. He got out and looked around. Marik, Anzu, Otogi, Jounouchi, and Honda were all getting back to their Pods. They must've been looking at Kaiba's info for the same reason Yugi was going to.  
  
Yugi walked towards Kaiba's Pod. Marik and Jounouchi were sharing one last kiss before the game, and Anzu and Honda were really going at it. Otogi looked at Yugi.  
  
"Can't remember the location?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah. I think its seventeen-three..." Yugi answered. "You two shouldn't do that. You're on camera."  
  
Honda and Anzu stopped. They got into their own Pods. Otogi watched them until they closed, then looked back at Yugi.  
  
"It's thirteen-seven. Mokuba's there too. Everyone else... made the same mistake that you did. Only Odion, Ishizu, and Ryou seem to have remembered. Speaking of Ryou..." Otogi went back towards Pod3. He tried opening it. It wouldn't work. "Darn... I really wanted to-"  
  
"I think I know. How come all their eyes are closed?" Yugi asked.  
  
"It clearly tells you to close your eyes before you enter the gaming world, so you don't dry them out." Otogi said.  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
"I almost entered the game before I checked the co-ordinates. I almost made that mistake!" Otogi said, laughing.  
  
"Oh... Okay. Um... Otogi...?" Yugi asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Umm..." Yugi started to blush. "Nothing. See you in-game!" He ran off, waving. He tripped on his shoe lace.  
  
"Wonder what that was about..." Otogi muttered.  
  
Yugi got back to his Pod. It displayed his partial information: Monk, Wood Elf, Monk, 0, CGeneration. He figured it was just temporary. He got in and started to close it. Otogi ran up and knocked on it before Yugi started the game back up. Yugi opened the Pod again.  
  
"Yugi, what were you really going to say?" Otogi asked.  
  
"I... just wanted to wish us the best of luck in the game!" Yugi said, forcing a smile.  
  
"I don't think so..." Otogi said. He reached for Yugi's hand and pulled him up. "I think I know exactly what you wanted to do!" he continued, getting angry. He made a fist and pulled it back. Yugi flinched and closed his eyes. Otogi let his arm swing. And it did swing. It went around Yugi's side and bent down. He kissed Yugi passionately, pulling away after some time. "Is that what you wanted to say?" Otogi asked, seemingly depressed, yet happy he kissed Yugi.  
  
Yugi sighed. "Uh... Sort of..." Yugi said, his eyes falling from their lock on Otogi's. Otogi noticed them stop... and hugged Yugi deeply. Yugi gasped for air. He pushed off of Otogi's legs and took deep breathes. "Are... you... trying to... kill me?" Yugi said, panting. He looked up and took a deep breathe. "I... won't tell Ryou." Yugi added, and got back into his Pod. Otogi walked back to his.  
  
Yugi started up the game after he picked the nearest city to 13 7, Donk Parlim. He read the message Otogi mentioned, about closing his eyes, and finalized his data. He laid his index finger on the 'Uplink' button on the panel. He closed his eyes and pushed it.

* * *

And then they all blew up!  
  
Dun dun dun!  
  
Not really. But you won't know that until next chapter.  
  
Yeah, I kinda just blew through this one. I really want to get to the actual game, and make so many people suffer. It'll also be somewhat funny.  
  
Review!

* * *

Okay, I couldn't let this one slip by. Remember the blimp ride? Here's an editted, funnier version:

* * *

"Yes, games... Anyways, that's where the emulators are. We'll get on the blimp and it will be a very, VERY, uneventful ride. If anything, and I mean ANYTHING, goes on in that blimp that is not sitting and staring out the windows, you will ALL be pushed out the ramp. Except you, Mokuba. Unless you do something bad." Kaiba finished.  
  
And they all proceeded down the hall, and despite Kaiba's best efforts, Ryou managed to trip and break Kaiba's prized marble Blue-Eyes White Dragon statues. Anzu, thinking it was a game, picked up a silver collectors plate of the Blue-Eyes and offered to play frisby with Honda. Honda shook his head, but Anzu threw the plate anyways. It hit the wall near Kaiba and bent in half. Kaiba then went back down the hall towards Anzu, grabbed her by the collar, and dragged her to the window. He hit another conviently located all-purpose button that opened the window, and pushed Anzu out. Honda hit Kaiba upside and the head and dived after Anzu, trying to save her. Kaiba closed the window, the herded the group down the hall and got on the blimp. It took off, and it was an uneventful trip as Kaiba had planned. Then again, Honda and Anzu were out of the picture, which kept things half sanitary. Half meaning when Jounouchi farted. Kaiba kept his word and dragged Jou over to the ramp, opening it, and pushed him out. Jounouchi, being a quick thinker of times of actual peril, grabbed the near by window sill. His clothes were sucked into the nearby engine. Ryou and Otogi couldn't help but laugh at this sight, so Kaiba ushered them towards the open ramp.  
  
"I'm going to flip a coin. One of you two will call it. Whoever calls it correctly gets pushed out first." He explained. Otogi and Ryou looked at each other. Kaiba flipped the coin into the air, and while Otogi and Ryou were tracking it and about to call it, Kaiba pushed both of them out, just as the blimp touched down into a somewhat large hanger. They both suffered from ankle pains.  
  
Everyone got off, and Mokuba lead the way. He opened a small door built just for him, but Yugi went inside as well. Some sort of commotion went on inside, and Mokuba pushed Yugi. Yugi turned back at the closing door. "Well how am I supposed to know you don't think that way!" he yelled.

* * *


	6. Enter the Game

Back to insanity!  
  
Yu-Gi-Oh! is property of Kazuki Takahashi, and the ingame characters are directly based off of 'Morrowind', and everything else is mine, except for the menu schematics. Those are based off of 'EverQuests'. Oh! The red number, from 'Fable', same reasoning.  
  
Read, then review!  
  
And no, there aren't any problems with Thunder-Beards speech. He uses a keyboard.  
  
And sorry for the long update (though I have gone longer!)

* * *

Another white vortex appeared in a seemlessly blue air. It twirled and curved and split several times. After a time (approximately 5 minutes, according to the new 'on screen' clock), he finally saw a white light and the apparent end of the tunnel. The light filled the air, and after a few short seconds, it dimmed out to grey. Grey flickered to a sky colored blue. The blue became deeper, until it returned to the familiar vortex on blue. The vision flickered for a few moments, then returned to the old grey screen. White lines formed out of no where, creating a grid, distorted by small bumps. It stopped at a tall, tall, bump. More white lines formed from apparently random points on this distorted grid, forming different shapes.  
  
He was apparently in a lush rain forest, complete with shrubs and trees with a large amount of foliage. Yet yellow speckles were everywhere. No color had been added yet, and some rough red lines started form in different areas as well, but they were moving, and humanoid, most likely the players. Some were just running, others were walking in groups, and some were attacking nothingness. Nothingness was quickly replaced by green lines forming strange creations. They were spouting more yellow speckles, and everything began to take a more prominant form. Everything flickered slightly a few times, and he looked around. Everything was in the basic colors of white, red, green, yellow, and the few spots of blue, all on a grey background. Some small green spot approached and moved violently. A red figure came from nowhere, and purple text came out of nowhere.  
  
"you got this" it read.  
  
"What?" he responded.  
  
"do you have this" it replied, pushing the older text upwards, disappearing later.  
  
"Have what?"  
  
"this goga its gonna kill you" it responded. The older text was disappearing as it was bumped up.  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Take it, though." he responded. He walked off. He stopped aburptly, though, when the area flickered again. He felt strange. He looked at his hand. He was in a red grid-outline like everything else, but color suddenly flowed from his head and began to cover himself. His hand was a greyish-dark green. He looked about himself. He was wereing ragged linen clothing, and his brown linen shoes were muddy and wet. He looked around. Everything was still in its outline, but was quickly covered with color. The world was a vibrant one, and this 'goga' was still small and now a similar grey-green, only it had blood red eyes and was cut in half by the hairy mans axe.  
  
"gogas make good hunting for newbies" he said, in a more elegant form of text, and in a vibrant negative color of the background. Type about standing out! "you can have this"  
  
The hairy man extended his left arm, offering nothing. A small virtual screen appeared in front of him though, in a dull grey metallic coating. It was a 'Trading Window', and it had seventeen gold coins in it. A small red glob quickly appeared next to it.  
  
"What is this?" he asked.  
  
"gold and jelly i found on it" they said, "take it"  
  
"Why...?"  
  
"your a n00b"  
  
"so you need to have some money to start off with and some basic food for health"  
  
"take it"  
  
"it was attacking you"  
  
Apparently, this hairy axe-wielding person was honorable enough to let someone have some appropriate spoils, but didn't use punctuation or captialization. Odd.  
  
"Okay... How?" he asked. "And could you communicate properly, you're flooding my screen."  
  
"okay, 'rishido'... what are you using to play?" the ape asked.  
  
"Uh... an emulator." Rishido asked.  
  
"good. just take it, and it will close!" apeman said.  
  
"Okay..." Rishido said, placing his hand into the window. Everything just disappeared, and the window closed. "Uh... thanks. Who are you?"  
  
"im' thunder-beard, nordic axeman. level 12, and you are in the small trading village of donk parlim." Thunder-Beard said.  
  
"Right. do you know where I can find a 'Setoe'? He's a High Elf, friend of mine."  
  
"Setoe... friend to one, hated by all. that come cross him anyways. takes their things, and i think he cheats. he has 20ith lvl equips at lvl 8."  
  
"I thought it was seven?"  
  
"no, hes an 8err now. however, im one of few that dont hate him, ands on good terms with him"  
  
"in this ares"  
  
"area"  
  
"Okay. Can you take me to him, please?" Rishido asked.  
  
"rright this way..." Beard said, running off through the forest, to where the mountain was. Rishido followed him, but couldn't keep up.  
  
"Wait, I'm lagging behind!"  
  
"youve encountered lag?"  
  
"No, you're too fast for me!" Rishido said, walking towards Thunder-Beard.  
  
"thats cuz your walking. your in a emulator, run!"  
  
"How?"  
  
"the natural way, st00pid."  
  
"Yeah, and you're replacing a single vowel with two numbers..." Rishido muttered.  
  
"muttering doesnt work when you have text filtering on! come on, join my group!"  
  
"How?"  
  
Thunder-Beard poked Rishido, then raised his hand up to chest level. "high five me"  
  
Rishido high-fived him, and his left arm began to sprawl. He looked underneath it, and saw five names with three stacked bars next to each one. They were all at full.  
  
Thunder-Beard, Bocuri, Ryuuji, Isis, Monk.  
  
"open your speech filter by grabbing your wrist and selecting group" Beard said.  
  
Rishido grabbed his left wrist, and another screen popped up. He tapped the one labeled "Group".  
  
"How's that work?" Rishido asked.  
  
"Work's fine, newcomer." The name Bocuri was highlighted as this was said, and it sounded quite familiar.  
  
"weve got us another traveler, also looking for Setoe." Beard said. The text appeared at the bottom of Rishido's sight, but was now in a different tone than before.  
  
"Hey everybody. Where are you?" Rishido asked.  
  
"We're at the Tavern, mate. Chugging down these Grogas! They're mighty tasteful!" Bocuri said.  
  
"lets get going then. buy our friend a weapon while your there isis" Beard said.  
  
"I already have." Isis replied. She also sounded familiar.  
  
The two ran off towards the mountain, and Rishido was actually keeping up. He was actually faster than Thunder-Beard. After almost a minute, they arrived in town. They walked right, into the Tavern. He saw four distinct people: a bi-pedal lizard, known as Isis; a bi-pedal cat known as Ryuuji; a small tanned elf known as Monk; and a normal sized person with white hair, known as Bocuri.  
  
"'Ello, there, Rishy!" Bocuri said, hitting Rishido on the shoulder.  
  
"Don't call me that. Sounds like fishy. You can call me by proper name, or parse it, without adding more letters."  
  
"Right, then." Purred Ryuuji. "So, you picked Dark Elf?"  
  
"Yes. It was the only one that even remotely suits me." Rishido responded.  
  
Isis handed Rishido a long iron sword, or Iron Longsword. He pulled it out of the window, and was wielding it. A number in red offset appeared 'on screen': 25.  
  
"Put that away!" Isis scolded, motioning for the waist. Rishido put it at his waist, where it clamped. The number dropped to 15. He let go, and the weapon disappeared. "It's illegal to carry a weapon in front of others!"  
  
"Where did it go?" Rishido asked.  
  
"It disappears to save space. By placing your hand at your waist then grabbing, you can pull it back out." Monk replied.  
  
"How do you know that?" Ryuuji asked.  
  
"I accidentally pulled out my starting dagger."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"anyways, were heading east now. im sure Setoe is going to be mad, but thatll be your fault." Beard said, walking out of the Tavern, turning right. Everyone followed. They walked casually towards the gate, but began to run after bypassing it. He stopped a short distance away, then turned around.  
  
"attack me" Beard said.  
  
Everyone looked at Rishido. "Me?" He asked.  
  
"yes you. youll need to know how to battle along the way. draw yor sowrd."  
  
"your swrod"  
  
"sword"  
  
Rishido placed his hand on his waist, then grabbed. A sword materialized out of nowhere into his hand. He held it in front of him, in a classic newbie stance.  
  
"no no, all wronf!"  
  
"wrong" Beard corrected. "you hold it with two hands, off to your good side, pointing backwards... yes yes!" Beard applauded, as Rishido followed his directions. "this is the way you stance for battle. this is the only way to stance when using a 2hander, exluding staffs. it lets human opponents know you are ready to fight, and it gives you a nice sweeping opener attack. swing at me!"  
  
Rishido swung. Thunder-Beard flinched from the impact, and some blood was oozing from the new wound.  
  
"good. after an attack, you set your weapon back into stance, unless your going to follow it up with another attack, which iwll leave you wide open for attack if you arent careful." he drew his own weapon, pulling it off his back. "attack me again, and ill block it. keep attacking until you hit me."  
  
Rishido swung again, and the Nord blocked with his axe, while still in battle stance. Rishido attacked again, with a thrust. Thunder-Beard blocked it again. Rishido kept attacking from all angles, trying to get away from the axe and cut Thunder-Beard, who kept blocking each one.  
  
"make your own critical!"  
  
Rishido ignored this, and kept going. He swung at the axe, after noticing a major flaw. His sword caught the axe and almost yanked it away from Beard. Rishido took the opening and stabbed him.  
  
"good job, almost disarmed me. now, inflict a good portion"  
  
Rishido kept attacking, and tryed that same tactic again, but failed. He brought his right knee into Beards rib cage, who staggered from the blow, then attempted a chop at him. Beard blocked it again, but Rishido kicked his left leg out into the opposing ribs. He rolled to the right, around Thunder-Beard, and continued his assault on the exposed area. He cut down a good portion of his health.  
  
"ah..." Beard took a swig of something, and his health returned to normal. "stop. good. now, block me."  
  
Rishido resuming combat stance, and Beard attacked. Rishido blocked every hit, except one that broke his sword and did a half-decapitation. Rishido died. A flash of red, and it slowly faded away. He could see the world around him in mute color. He looked around, and saw his own body at his feet. Isis bent over and dumped some liquid onto it. He was thrown back into his own body.  
  
"Killed him, did you?" said a cold voice.

* * *

Okay, so there were some lame jokes in there, but now we know this:  
  
Only Odion, Ishizu, Ryou, Otogi, and Yugi made it into the right area. If you remember, Yugi named his character 'Monk'. If you know the Japanese names of people (or their subtitles), you'll know that Rishido is Odion's character, Isis is Ishizu's character, and Ryuuji is Otogi's character. So, that means that Bocuri is Ryou. But who is Thunder-Beard!? You'll find out, next chapter!  
  
Oh, and review. Reviews are good. 


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